did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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