everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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