So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
