I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
