***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize