Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
