I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
