Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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