the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
