Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
