i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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