ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
