it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
