Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
