So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
