and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
