i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
please don't ironically join a cult
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