I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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