i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
