i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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