He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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