The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
