don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
