Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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