I'm so fucking centered right now
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
