So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
