That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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