as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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