P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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