oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
