i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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