the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize