I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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