I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
