He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
