I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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