Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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