Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
