If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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