My first STD was from a foam party
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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