I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
