Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
