Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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