my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
