I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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