So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
