okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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