my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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