sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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