i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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