I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
