If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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