I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
