have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
