I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
