i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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