the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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