my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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